Electronic Notebook

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon.  I no longer have a hangover, I’m drinking honey and lemon hot water and one of my glands is up.  The cat is next to me, there’s three club stamps on my right forearm and my hair needs a wash.  I just finished reading a book called The Messenger by Markus Zusak (highly recommend) and have succumbed to the not-so-unfamiliar act of looking back over my life. 

You see, writers need experience.  They need richness.  They need travel and books and tea and luscious bunches of flowers and music and every kind of flavour of ice-cream.  Sometimes I feel as though I haven’t got enough knowledge or creativity or life experience to write something extravagant, capturing, or heart-wrenching.  A bestseller, you could say.  But then I was reading through my electronic notes on my phone – you know the ones you often write when you’re drunk, or making a shopping list, or simply out of pen and paper.  And I realised, I’ve got a lot.

It’s like pieces of a diary, of a life.  Of love, and tragedy, and friendship.  Of song lyrics and bad days and good days and all the bits in-between.  The best part is, they can be a story on their own, or they can mould themselves together.  It all depends on how you read it.

14^th of January, 2010 9:22PM
I’m a fridge and Ali is my magnet

19^th of September, 2010 1:42PM
Dear Annabel
You make me laugh and you make me cry
All because I love you :)
You are an amazing person and I love you so much
I would hate it if I lost you because everything about you makes me smile :)
I know that not everyone thinks what I do but everything happens for a reason, that’s probably why I get over things so easily, because I always say in my head it wouldn’t have happened for nothing.  I’ve learnt that after Hannah died although I couldn’t actually find any reason for that other than gods a fucking arsehole haha :)
Anyway bit of an inspirational talk
I love you
:)
xxx
a loving friend

19^th of September, 2010 2:07PM
My heart can’t possibly break if it wasn’t even whole to start with

24^th of September, 2010 9:58AM
Annabel!! Over here!! On this note!

dear miss Owen
we are pleased to say you have been accepted into our society, the society of people who are back from camp.  I missed you so much this week, you should have been in our camp group where we could have had so many inside jokes and laughed til the sun came up.
I’m really happy our lives are turning around, with Jack and Toby and Josh.  It’s all getting better from here.  Last night I had a dream of what I was going to say to a certain boy we know and I really need to see him now.
Gah. Jokes I hate that word.

So Nyway. Wtf that was meant to say anyway. *intermission* this is really hard to type on

abywY

Fuuuuck.

anyway (YES) I really hope you had fun on camp even though you weren’t with me.

You are the fridge to my magnet
xxx
Ps. I love you

24^th of September, 2010 10:38AM
Heyyyyyyyyyy
I was just listening to wonderwall (which im gonna make you learn on guitar even though chia said it was really hard) so I was listening to it and it said, there are so many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how. So true.

Intermission
“Im craving a burger, is that weird?”
‘not for you’ haha that’s from the hurt locker and it applies to me so goodly,
goodly is so not a word.

so your ipod tells me it has low battery. Rude.  But I better go now then.

xxxxxxx – an impressive amount.
Love Kate.

3^rd of October, 2010 9:01PM
I can live without you but without you I’ll be miserable at best.

23^rd of December, 2010 2:16PM
Damn who’s a sexy bitch – Dayumm girl.

7^th of February, 2011 7:43AM
I’m happy :)

2nd of March, 2011 1:54PM
Hi Annabel! I don’t know how many times you’ve listened to this song but I can’t say anything because STOP SINGING. Anyways I listen to certain songs a fuckload of times so whatever

Damn, the bell just went bye :) XXXXXX love Kate WTF is with the caps in the x’s for fucks sake

“pfft im glad im not going”
“so am I cuz you always FUCK things up!!”

27^th of April, 2011 3:45PM
Nick Edwards is a babe and I love him very much (this is not a hack ;) )

17^th of June 2011, 8:56AM
Bohemian Rapsody
Bravery believe
Cats in the cradle
Zebra
Sweet child O mine
Sweet dreams (are made of this)
Snow (hey oh)
U2
Hotel California
Stairway to heaven
Behind blue eyes
Born to be wild
Aerosmith dream on
Before its too late goo goo dolls
Red hot chili peppers
Acdc

19^th of July, 2011 2:47PM
“It hadn’t been until then that I realised I had a story to tell.  Lil had a story, too.  Everyone does.  But it’s only in novels we can fully know another human being.  Real life is different.  People are lucky if they’re even fully known by themselves.”
- Joanne Horniman, My Candlelight Novel

21^st of July, 2011 11:29AM
The sun glistens in the corner of the sky.  Fresh morning air lies across the landscape that blurs past.  It could so easily be an ordinary day, but it isn’t.  Is it a wonder that one morning you simply wake up and in the blink of any eye, everything is different?  Things have never been this way before, but suddenly a whole new perspective arises from the dust of last night’s dream.  You didn’t realise it before, but for some strange reason
now you do.

21^st of July, 2011 11:59PM
Letter to Myself

You’re sitting on the couch of siesta and dad is watching the ‘Tour De France’ on tv which is ridiculous coz no doubt he’s been watching it all night while you were out with Kyle and Blake and Trent and Jason. Of course your sister was there and trent’s sister, but this is unimportant. You’re anxiously waiting for a boy to text you back although you don’t know why coz you don’t really care (or so you tell yourself).  Any minute now mum is going to pester you about climbing into bed because “its late” but for the moment she’s also interested in the tour de france.
AND THERE YOU GO
“darling you better go to bed because you can’t sleep in as much tomorrow.”
how predictable.

Also, going to bed now wouldn’t make much difference because Ella coughs every five seconds which keeps you awake and you’ll just end up reading this or texting anyway.

You sort of need to pee and your socks are wet.  Goodnight mum.  See you in the morning. 

You’re actually pretty tired but cbf going to bed so fuck it.  You’ve been reading lots more books lately which have awesome imagery and has left you rather poetic.  Could be a good or a bad thing, I’ll leave that to you to decide.

Tomorrow you leave siesta park which is usually sad but you’re actually looking forward to getting back to Perth to see all your friends especially Nick and Kate and Riley.

Today you played tennis for the first time in ages.  You were still good so maybe you should take it up again, just a suggestion.

I’ve run out of things to tell you other than:
Chocolate would be good right now no make that fudge
You didn’t go on the flying fox this time, maybe youll go tomorrow
There she goes is awesome on guitar
The tour de france commentator is a loser
You need to brush your teeth.

It’s time to stop.  Let’s end with a quote
“you say tomato I say fuck you”

only kidding, we’ll try that again.
“you can do it.”
That’ll do. Goodnight, sweet dreams. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

30^th August, 2011 1:54PM
NOOT NOOT

5^th of May, 2012 3:14PM
We found love in a hopeless place

19^th of June, 2012 10:39PM
Summary of your life currently:
- semester one year twelve exam results deserve a thumbs up
- no one has asked you to the Wesley ball
- there is no decent food in the fridge
- you’ve driven a manual car twice yay
- guitar is poo but you love it
- you hate school
- you want to write a book full of life and imagery and happiness and sadness and how time is precious, which is ironic because you don’t have the time to write the book…

30^th of June, 2012 3:17PM
Did he ask you out?
Yep OMG OMG OMG!!
!@#$%^&*( YAY!
You said yes right?
Nah
I hope you’re being sarcastic
Yess
Thank god! I was about to have a meltdown.  Aw I’m so happy for you!
Classic
Hahaha
:) :) :)

13^th of July, 2012 12:02PM
I regretted it once again as I watched him walk away.  That was the second time I’d blown an opportunity with him.  We trudged upstairs through the wafts of cooking food and up onto the walkway.  And who was coming up the other side? He himself.  Someone called behind me, “GO!” And this time I listened.  I walked boldly towards him and watched the corner of his mouth twitch into a smile as we got closer.  I went straight to him, my heart pounding as I grabbed his neck and watched him lean down towards me. His tongue slid across mine and I could hear people yelling, but we continued to embrace. We pulled away and walked in different directions.  In a movie that would have been the climax.  We would have kissed passionately and then become a couple and fallen in love.  But it wasn’t a movie, and we didn’t

15^th of July, 2012 5:30PM
99 problems but a chip aint one
^ by some stroke of genius you just made this up.
In need of a laugh? Here:
The awkward moment when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it octopus.
Hi captain stewbing, how are gofer and dock? Permission to come aboard sir? Alrighty then.

20^th July, 2012 11:47AM
Fi & Co Fashion Vintage Books

15^th September, 2012 10:48AM
Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell thefingerprintsofscum

28^th of March, 2013 8:43AM
A red ruby stud
A black beaded bracelet
A red one, too
A green jumper
Some brown boots
Doc Martins
A silver bird bracelet
Love

5^th of June, 2013 4:20PM
When I smell the waft of lingering cigarette smoke I think of you.  Me, burying my head into your leather jacket the first time I cried in front of you.  I was drunk but you were there, and you held me.  That was all I ever wanted.

29^th of July 2013 5:40PM
Archer
Nixon
Emmylou
Tigerlily
Cleo

29^th of July, 2013 9:04PM
I don’t know what I’m doing.  I’m seventeen, and there’s no map for it.

9^th of August, 2013 9:31PM
Do you ever wish that you could just start over?

4^th of September 2013 10:29PM
Quote Hayley Baker “It’s just such a good song I just want to butt fuck it.”

14^th of September, 2013 1:26AM
“Licking is a superpower.  Well it’s my superpower.” – Demi Spratt

15^th of September, 2013 12:40PM
Ping Pong Scores
Annabel – 4
Nick – 3

10^th of January, 2014 5:59PM
“I don’t believe that old cliché that good things come to those who wait.  I think that good things go to those who want something so badly they can’t sit still.” – Ashton Kutcher

16^th of January, 2014 12:21AM
He acted like we never even knew each other.  Like we were strangers who had no past, no present and no future

13^th of March, 2014 1:55PM
It’s an old bus.  Of course it is, on a day like this.  It pulls up to the curb, ricocheting and rattling.  The seats are ripped and stained; scratched graffiti on the back.  Paint peels off the faded yellow handlebars and the windows clatter as the old metal shakes.  I stare solemnly out of their watermarked glass.  When I get home I’m going to sit at the kitchen bench in a lonely house and eat my fettuccine from its Tupperware container; cold and slimy.

18^th of March, 2014 8:12PM
I wish I could close my eyes and forget, just for a little while.  I wish Demi was still at Curtin.  I wish flights to Melbourne weren’t so expensive in the school holidays.  I wish my friends would be honest.  I wish me being honest wouldn’t get me in the shits.  I wish I was better at pool.  I wish my writing wouldn’t reveal so much about me.  I wish I could eat endless amounts of cheese Doritos and not get fat.  I wish for a kiss that makes it all melt away.

22^nd of April, 2014 10:40PM
I drank a little more than recommended.

20^th of June, 2014 6:45PM
It was evening and I observed a man in a blue collared shirt.  He was served his meal, at a table for two.  Alone.  He pressed his thumb and forefinger to his temple and muttered quietly to himself.  I was mesmerised.  I wanted to look away, feeling as though I was intruding in his thanks.  His lips said amen and he gathered his utensils and I smiled, looking away only to discover I was his only witness.  A silent thanks.

21^st of June, 2014 11:52PM
“If I look fat let me know and I’ll just wee it out.” – Phoebe Strickland

1^st of July, 2014 3:05PM
We were like strangers who knew each other very well.