Tuesday, 14 April 2015

A Day in the Life of A Writer

Being a writer can be pretty difficult at times, especially when you can’t think of anything new to write.  Also, you’re often holed up in dark rooms or cramped studies trying desperately to think of the ‘next best thing’.  You science junkies and mathematicians have it easy! Either it is right, or it’s wrong, and if you leave it and come back later – not much has changed.  Writers have to pull a whole story out of their assholes and then let other’s read it!  And there are endless possibilities of how to write a story and what to write about.  Trust me.    

So, for those of you procrastinating from whatever it is you should be doing – here is a short insight into the day in the life of a writer, because, well, I can’t think of anything else to write. 
Firstly, begin the day with a cup of coffee (pretty standard for anyone, right?) but essential, nonetheless.

Also, make sure you own a cat.  Or at least a pet of some description, but usually a cat.  Then, get annoyed at said cat when said cat tries to eat your breakfast, walks all over your notes, pens, pencils and laptop.  Waste some time dealing with said cat in the form of picking it up several times, feeding it, and eventually putting it outside.  Then, eat your breakfast in peace (or what’s left of it anyway).     

Open up a word document and write the name of the assignment or piece of writing.  If you don’t know what the name is just yet, simply write “New piece” or “Writing” and save it, so at least the skeleton is there.  It’s the thought that counts, right? 

Decide you’ve done some good work (*cough* denial *cough*) and make yourself another coffee.

Play a musical instrument. Or at least try, even if you can’t.  Learn the rap section of any rap song if you have to.  Literally, anything will do.  Sing the theme song of a television show, or burst into a classic Lizzie-McGuire-movie-number and realise you’re way too distracted to start writing just yet.     

Do all the chores you would never otherwise do because that’s a good enough excuse not to write.

Make another coffee even though you feel sick from the last one.

Eat multigrain toast (because you’re trying to be ‘healthy’ with a little vegemite and way too much butter.  (But not before standing next to the toaster with your arms crossed waiting for it to pop up instead of doing something productive).  I mean, you can’t possibly have been doing anything else – you were waiting for the toaster!

Watch an episode of your favourite television show.  Convince yourself the dialogue and characters are part of your work because you’re drawing ‘inspiration’ from them.    

Set up all your stuff in an area you think will be peaceful and be ready to do work.  Check Facebook instead. Then play the latest app that’s hot.   It went from Doodle Jump, to Words with Friends, to Draw Something, to Flappy Bird and I think people aren’t quite sick of Trivia Crack just yet. 

Contemplate going for a swim, or a walk, or pretty much any other physical activity.  End up taking a nap instead because it’s all too much.

Wake up from the nap unsure of what year you’re in.  Have a shower.

Settle back into your writer’s spot and attempt to write.  Write a small paragraph of crap that you’re not sure you will really use, but is better than writing nothing. 

Flip through your writer’s journals. Waste plenty of time reading every single thing you’ve written in the past in the hope that something will be good enough to work on.  It’s not.  But hey, you practically did some work by reading through it all, so take a break.

After yet another ‘well deserved break’, spend some time organising your study planner.  Use lots of highlighters, and write things like ‘work on assignment 3 for unit blah, blah’, knowing full well you’re probably not going to end up working on it at all. 

And lastly, write something completely different to what you’re supposed to be writing so you feel accomplished.


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